


Almost

by WindOfTheWillows17



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: HPFT, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 03:03:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7082557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WindOfTheWillows17/pseuds/WindOfTheWillows17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lily dances through Sirius' dreams, in memories of what could have been.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Almost

In the north sea, on a tiny, lonely island sat the wizarding prison of Azkaban. Its tall, impenetrable walls were shrouded behind the relentless crashing waves. Inside, misery hung heavily in the air mixed with a smell of rot and decay. Haunting, rattling breaths and screams of despair echoed loudly off the slime covered walls. Sirius Black sat in his dark, damp cell rocking back and forth doing everything he could to escape the madness that threatened to overtake him. 

He slowly lifted his head as he heard voices and footsteps coming towards him. He carefully inched his gaunt body over to the bars as the men stopped in front of his cell waiting for one of the Auror's to unlock the door across from him. Sirius instantly recognized the portly man as Cornelius Fudge the Minister of Magic.

"Please keep me informed on Dolohov, Davies." Fudge instructed as he fiddled with the copy of the Daily Prophet in his hand. 

"Will do sir." Davies replied.

"May I have that?" Sirius feebly spoke up pointing to the paper as the two men jumped.

"This?" The Minister questioned curiously holding up the paper in his hand that Sirius had been pointing at. 

"I like to do the crossword," he explained as the Minister walked over the the bars of his cell.

"Well I don't see why not," he said and carefully pushed the paper through the gaps. "Here you go."

"Thank you." Sirius muttered, taking the paper in his hands.

"This way Sir." Davies had called back to him and the Minister and Aurors disappeared through the door.

Sirius looked around cautiously like a child who had stollen a sweet before right before dinner time. He crept back to the corner of his cell and opened the paper. His eyes instantly fell on the heading and saw that it was dated for 30 July 1993. An uncomfortable pang came over him. Tomorrow would be Harry's thirteenth birthday. He quickly scanned the rest of the front page to avoid the guilt that was bubbling up inside of him as his eyes came to rest on a picture of the Weasley family. He examined the picture more closely his eyes grew large in shock and he sat up straighter. 

He looked carefully at the picture squinting his eyes trying to make out why the rat looked familiar. The fur had a patch missing right on top of the head. Sirius held the paper up so closely to his face that his nose was touching the picture. 

"You clever little rat!" He exclaimed quite loudly as he stared at the picture of the rat being held in one of the Weasley children's hands.

There was Peter Pettigrew in black and white looking anxiously out at him in his animagus form. The right front paw was visibly missing what would clearly be a human's index finger. 

Sirius laughed manically as the madness took hold. He jumped up from where he was crouched down and began to shake the bars of his inescapable cage as an uneasy, unnatural cold began to overwhelm him. The dementors wafted down the hall towards him drinking in his despair. Within minutes Sirius had lost all sense of being and all sense of consciousness.

Dreams of a simpler time in his life spun through his mind in intricate detail. 

The first day on the Hogwarts Express had been a hectic one. He was thrilled with having the opportunity to leave his parents, but the uncomfortable pressure on where he would be sorted, loomed eagerly in the back of his mind. He tried everything he could think of to push the thought from his mind as he looked for an compartment. 

He finally came across one with only two occupants that looked to be about his age, so he slowly opened the door. "Can I join you?" He asked the pair softly.

The girl smiled warmly. "Of course!" Her red hair and vibrant green eyes caught his attention immediately and gave him butterflies in his stomach. 

"And who might you be?" The boy with greasy hair and a hooked nose asked from the other side of her. 

"I'm Sirius, Sirius Black." He replied back as he attempted to hoist his trunk up onto the luggage rack, but struggled.

"I'm Lily. Lily Evans." He heard her say as she appeared next to him. "Would you like some help with your trunk?" 

"Sure." Sirius replied glancing at her from under his arm. 

Once they had gotten the trunk placed firmly on the rack they sat down on the comfortable cushions. Sirius looked around the compartment taking it all in when his eyes fell on the boy across from him. He was scowling fiercely at him.

"This is Severus by the way. Severus Snape." Lily said trying to break through the tension that had quickly built up. The boys both gave one another a curt nod. "We were just talking about the sorting ceremony before you came in." She informed him giving him a small nervous smile.

"Where do you think you'll be sorted?" Severus asked him pointedly. His face lacked the emotion and warmth of Lily's.

 

"Well," he began as he rubbed his hands together nervously. "My whole family has been in Slytherin for centuries so I am hoping to actually be the first one to break from tradition." 

"That is exactly where Severus wants to be sorted!" Lily exclaimed happily. 

"What about you?" Sirius questioned Lily as the butterflies began to dance around in his stomach more.

"Well I would like to be in Slytherin so I could be with Severus," she began."But if not then I would like to think I could make it into Ravenclaw." 

 

"You'll be put in Slytherin." Severus informed her. "It is the best house."

Sirius looked apprehensive at Severus' words, but the silence was broken by a newcomer that they hadn't even heard open the compartment door.

"Slytherin is the worst house!" James Potter announced to the stunned threesome. 

"It is not!" Severus shouted and jumped to his feet, pulling out his wand.

Sirius and Lily jumped up too as the tension rose more in the tiny compartment. 

 

"What are you going to do hex me?" James taunted as he took a step closer to Severus. 

Lily and Sirius gave one another a nod and immediately intervened. Lily pulled back on Severus and Sirius redirected James. 

"Come on Lily!" Severus shouted as he grabbed their trunks from the overhead rack. "Let's find another, less contaminated compartment!"

Sirius and James sat down as the two left and the compartment door shut. Sirius watched Lily who smiled sadly and gave him a small wave before following Severus down the corridor. Sirius felt sad as the butterflies in his stomach dropped making him feel empty.

The dream had faded out and another one invaded his mind.

It was sixth year and they had been serving detention together outside with Professor Kettleburn, their Care of Magical Creatures Teacher. When the weather had started to turn cold and rain began to fall. Sirius and Lily took cover under a large oak tree on the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest. 

"This is insane!" She shouted at Sirius as a shiver ran through her body from the cold rain.

Sirius put an arm around her trying to help keep her warm. The closeness made the swooping butterflies return in his stomach again as he looked Lily in the eyes. They both laughed at the absurdity of the detention and the rain, but when the laughing stopped, their lips closed the gap between them and softly touched in a sweet kiss.

The dream morphed.

He was standing at the alter next to his best friend James. The two of them watched with bated breath as Lily floated down the aisle on the arm of her father. She looked absolutely stunning in her white dress. 

Sirius jabbed James in the ribs and joked,"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"You know I do Padfoot." James replied grinning from ear to ear as Lily's father took her hand and placed it gently into James'.

Sirius felt a pang of jealousy run through him as he watched them exchange wedding vows. His eyes locked on Lily. 

During the reception afterwards, the wedding party toasted the happy couple and they all sat down for dinner. Sirius took every moment he could to sneak glances at Lily when James wasn't looking. 

He watched from the corner with Remus as James and Lily twirled around on the dance floor and when they had finished, Sirius took the chance to ask Lily for a dance.

"I would love to!" She said beaming at him in a way that made him go weak in the knees as she took his hand and followed him onto the dance floor. 

Music began to play.

'What a day it has been

What a rare mood I am in

Why it's, almost like being in love.'

When the song stopped, he pulled her close to give her a hug and whispered in her ear. "I love you Lily."

The dream altered.

Sirius was sitting on the sidewalk outside of the Potter's home in Godric's Hollow on the night of the 31 October with tears cascading down his cheeks. They were gone. She was gone. He was alone.

Rubeus Hagrid had just taken off on Sirius' motorbike taking baby Harry to Professor Dumbledore after they fought over who had the right to care for the child. Sirius in his grief conceded.

He numbly reached in his pocket and pulled out a letter than he had carried around with him. A letter that Lily had written him about a month after they began living here. He read it trying to absorb every ounce of her he could. To hold on to whatever memory came to him. When he reached the end of the letter he broke out into fresh tears as he read: 

Lots of Love,

Lily

Sirius slowly awoke. When he sat up and saw the paper beside him he thought carefully about what he was going to do next. He needed a way out of the cell and he needed a way to hide. 

'Anamagi cannot posses the emotions dementors feed on, because they are not humans and I can easily slip through the bars!' He thought to himself becoming more and more excited and happy by the moment. 

He watched carefully as two Auror's walked by on their patrol and when they disappeared from view he willed himself to change into his animagus form. Once he had, he slipped through the bars like butter. 

'I'm coming to get you Peter.' He thought to himself as he made his way quickly down the hall. 'And I won't stop until I avenge Lily and James.'


End file.
